Period.

It’s so interesting that I come from a cultural group that celebrates a woman starting her period, through a ‘puberty ceremony’. Men and women in the girl’s family come together for this celebration, with no form of shyness, embarrassment or awkwardness.

Nonetheless, why is it that the generation in our culture which so religiously celebrates starting a menstrual period, then feels shy and embarrassed to talk about it after. There are many men, especially in my parents generation, who feel awkward and shy to talk about it, yet spend ounces of money on a puberty ceremony which serves no purpose whatsoever than to show off one’s financial status (especially in this modern-western civilization). How many of those fathers, brothers and uncles then openly talk to their daughters about her once monthly period? I have not yet seen it.

Did you know that in Tamil, the most civilized way to say that I’m on my period is this: ‘sugam illai’ which directly translates as ‘I’m not well’. Are you joking me?! Being on my menstrual period does not mean ‘I am not well’. The woman’s body goes through this process naturally. Why is it then so stigmatized/medicalised?

I am fully aware that we cannot change the ideals, values or behaviours of those in the generation above me, in my tamil community…sadly it is too late. I just hope both men and women alike can openly talk about a period in my generation and the generations to come. We need to socially and culturally normalize a normal biological function, rather than masking it in all our non-sense values. Period.

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My understanding of the pain-body

I read Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth and I learnt something very interesting which Tolle introduced, called the pain-body.

From the moment we are born, we are being shaped by every experience, everything and everyone around us. These influences can be positive or negative. Those that make us feel a negative emotion feed into our so-called ‘pain-body’. This pain-body is an umbrella term to describe our negativity or darkness. During the course of our life, certain events/moments can trigger this pain-body of ours to resurface in the form of anger, hatred, bitterness, depression, anxiety. We need to become aware of this. The mere process of becoming aware that these emotions are not our conscious being, but the unconscious pain-body taking over, is the first step to stop ourselves from identifying with it.

I can envision the pain-body as being something negative. There are some individuals who carry a negative aura around them. I can now say that it is not their conscious self that is negative, but their pain-body which they carry with them as a dark cloud. The pain body is something which can easily be triggered. I have my own pain-body which comes to light every time someone or something triggers an insecurity in me. My negative response to that is my pain-body. It is not my conscious self. To be conscious is to be aware of this pain-body. It will crop up time and time again; every time it does, I need to become aware that it is my pain-body. This way I can stop identifying myself with it.

I’m so proud of you Amma

Today you are starting a new chapter. A job. Yes after 19 years of not working, you have decided to enter the world of employment again.

I’m so proud of you, for standing up for yourself and your freedom.

You inspire me always.

This is just the beginning and it is never too late to start anything. You are a prime example of that.

Nothing is as sad as superficiality

Positive vibes. Spirituality. Positivity.

These terms have been become so overused and meaningless in the past few years.

I merely see them as fancy hashtags for Instagram posts. The recent trend.

Don’t get me wrong, I was following this trend as well. However since the beginning of this year, I started to go through a whole mental, emotional and spiritual change. My whole way of thinking began to evolve. I can feel that I am vibrating on a whole new frequency. This shift is scaring the hell out of me, but the more I become aware of it and talk about it, the more I am accepting and embracing this new me.

I just feel like so many individuals are living a life for a very superficial and monetary purpose. Money. Status. Please others. Please self on a superficial level. There is deeper sense of being, which I strongly believe in. We are born for a higher purpose. This higher purpose is short of being easy. On my route to finding my higher purpose, to serve others, I have been becoming more and more aware of myself. This awareness is scary as hell. You start to realise that there is a lot more to our creation.

What we are currently experiencing is a mere illusion. It takes a lot of courage to delve deep and figure out where we sit in this world. What purpose we are going to serve to make this place a better place…because guess what, that is what this messed up world needs more of. Humans who have built a life to serve others and help create a better generation of humans for the centuries to come.

A weekend in Bath

I took a very private trip to Bath with my boyfriend this weekend.

My definition of ‘private’ is that I did not tell many people I was actually going. Not my friends, my family. I basically did not make a big fuss. My boyfriend and I wanted some alone time without the distractions of being in our ‘normal’ environments.

Honestly it was such a beautiful time. My boyfriend and I had some quality alone time where we truly got to enjoy our own company. I felt like we both spent a lot of time with each other in London (where he lives/I come from) or Birmingham (where I currently live); but we have never really taken time out to travel together, which is something we both wanted to do. Living in different cities, where both of us work on different full-time work schedules, with our side hustles, does make that much harder to sort any time to meet up, let alone plan holidays haha!

It was a miracle that we managed to find a weekend where both of us were free so we made it happen!

Bath was amazing and we are both into learning so we made the most of it. We went to the Roman Baths and spent a good half of the day taking a tour around the site – learning, discussing and teaching other what we learnt. After a beautiful lunch, we then had the best time at Thermae Bath Spa. We both needed detox time. We spent a good hours, without our phones, not taking photos, and just enjoying each other’s company relaxing, unwinding and feeling grateful about the life we had.

After the beautiful spa afternoon, we brought the evening to an end with Indian Fine dining (so our style!). We spent time talking about our peaks and pits of our day and what we were looking forward to. Our day came to an end.

Now for those who know us well, would know that my boyfriend is very into cars. As a result I have become more clued up about cars! So on our second day, we went to car showrooms and managed to test drive some cars in Bath! What an experience.

The reason I wanted to share this is because by reflecting on how much of a wonderful time we had, I am able to feel that much more grateful about the relationship I am in. From the outside, not many people understand the relationship between me and my boyfriend. We have been judged by many for numerous reasons. Nonetheless we have stood strong by each other. I am so grateful that he has been by my side no matter what others have put us through. And taking this time for us and appreciating why we love each other so much has made me more aware of how amazing of a human being he is.